The Love Trilogy:
God has placed it on my heart to talk to you in a three part series entitled “The Love Trilogy.” The first part of this series is “My Healer.” The following two months we will be looking at “My Friend” and “My Love.” This series is something I am really excited about and something I feel that God has designed especially for you. Praise our Abba! Praise our Father!
My experience in the realms of relationships has not been perfect. Like most everyone, I have had my heart broken or have been crushed along the road to finding love. We all search for love in one form or another. The quest for love is an innate part of us that we inadvertently long for. We desire to feel loved and to give love.
As we search for someone to love us and to love in return, the unexpected can happen. Our hearts, pure, unashamed, innocent, and whole, we offer openly to those we care about. Offering your heart and love is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. It can hurt so much when that gift is rejected!
Maybe this has happened to you…Maybe you have offered your heart and have had it rejected. Or maybe you were in a relationship that didn’t work and now you are left with your heart in pieces. Maybe you have sheltered your heart from others because the past has left painful scars on your heart. Reopening yourself to others and allowing yourself to feel love can be a difficult, painful task; but you are not alone. Whatever scenario you have come from, there is healing in a place where love flows over and through you. Pure. Unashamed. Innocent. Making you whole again.
I came from several bad relationships in my past. From falling deeply in love and being rejected, to feeling awkward and unlovable, and finally hiding myself deep inside to protect what was left of my heart. I went from being a care-free girl of twelve, believing that love would come and sweep me off of my feet, to holding my own heart, bleeding, broken, and scarred, trying to figure out how to make myself whole again. I went through years of college trying to make myself better. I searched for someone or something to make me feel whole again. It was as if I could feel each individual scar on my heart. Whenever I would let myself care about someone again, I would hide away, afraid that the relationship would end in hurt.
To cope, I would write poetry and relinquish my feelings by putting pen to paper. Yet, over time, I felt myself becoming bitter. Those scars that once just flooded me with pain and guilt began to sting with resentment and anger. My search to heal myself had led me down a path to nowhere. And then, at the end of my rope, feeling lost, hurt, and angry, I found myself sitting on my bed in my room. Tears were streaming down my face. Pictures of guys from past relationships flashed through my head like an old-movie slide show. I felt a mix of hurt and a furious anger surge over me. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at my bedroom wall with all my might, then flopped down on my mattress with a sob. I didn’t know how to move forward. I had tried; I had failed. All I knew was that I couldn’t live the rest of my life like this. Then came the voice….
Rest in Me
Heal in Me
I will make you better
Trust in Me
Trust, Trust, Trust
The tears in my eyes momentarily stopped. It all seemed so simple. I had been running so fast in the wrong direction to “make myself better” that I had ran past the only One who knew exactly what would make my hurting heart Whole. “You’re right...,” I muttered and sat up in bed. At the end of my futile path to finding love, God reminded me of His healing power. From that moment on, I would talk to God about my feelings and hurts. I would tell Him to heal me and soften the hard parts of my heart. And you know what? He did. I even started praying for the people who had hurt me in the past. All of a sudden my bitterness towards them turned into forgiveness and love.
Growing up in church I had heard preachers talk about God being many things: a Healer, a Friend, a Savior, a Love, a Treasure, etc. But growing up, I never needed a Healer until that moment. He revealed to me what He always was and what I had rushed past so quickly each time I was hurt. He became my Healer. My only Healer. The only one who really knew what I was feeling. The only one who knew what to say to make me reflect and feel refreshed. The only one who could take my damaged heart and make it full of joy again. He is the only one who can take your heart as it I; fill it with His healing love; and make every corner of your heart beautiful. Taking your past, your tears, and your reservations, He will make you pure. He will make you unashamed. He will make you whole again.
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